Snow...an Invitation to Accept Complexity

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

Looking outside after a recent snowfall, I noticed my thoughts went first to the logistical challenges of driving and how much extra time I’d need to get to my destination. But as I gazed a little longer, I started to be curious about the healing properties of snow. After all, it’s made of water just like rain, which is known for it’s soothing and cleansing qualities. So how about snow?

Image by Franz Bachinger

Depending on our age, life experience, or plans for the day, a snowy morning can bring a wide array of emotions. Kids might become especially joyful to play outside in the fluffy white wonderland, and skiers may delight in rushing down the slopes. Others might be wary of falling on the ice or feel bogged down with shoveling.

Whatever our initial reactions, a fresh snowfall offers opportunities to support our personal healing as well as the well-being of our environment. Because it contains the entire color spectrum, the color white can symbolize the spiritual concepts of wholeness and possibilities – concepts that help build a sense of meaning and hope in life. And noticing how it covers the entire landscape in a pristine blanket of brilliant light can bring feelings of calmness, appreciation, and awe. Looking at it from a broader perspective, the sparkling reflection from snow balances the entire energy of the Earth. According to the National Snow and Ice Data Center, it helps keep the planet cool by reflecting solar energy back into space.

By combining these healing properties with the realities of shoveling, driving, and icy sidewalks, perhaps snow is a reminder to open up to the complexities of our world. Rather than seeing it as all good or all bad, maybe there’s a hidden message in snow, asking us to cherish the uplifting aspects of life while doing the work needed to address the challenges we face.

Finding Relief Through Guided Imagery

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Do you have a safe and comforting place you can go to calm and reset your nervous system when feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Perhaps you have a physical location at home, work, or in your community where you can retreat. Maybe it’s a coffee shop, gym, grocery store, lake, ocean, cabin, mountain, skating rink, wellness center, pickleball court, or place of prayer.  

What if you had access to a safe and comforting mindfulness retreat, 24/7, that does not require travel or a financial investment? 

The good news is that if you are reading this, then you do! It’s just a matter of unlocking it! 

Guided imagery is key to satisfying our human need for safety, calm, and peace. This mindful practice that integrates your imagination, breath, and senses, is intended to alleviate emotional, mental, and physical discomfort. As a mind-body practice, it gives you the freedom to practice anywhere for any amount of time. You can choose to listen to a guided imagery meditation led by someone else, read a script, or guide yourself.

Guided imagery is an evidence-based complementary therapy and meditation practice that can be beneficial for managing symptoms related to chronic health conditions, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis. It can also help during preoperative care and with pain management. 

Guided imagery can also support behavioral change around lifestyle habits, emotional regulation (intelligence), and cognitive reframing. For example, if you have a fear of going to the dentist, it can be used during an actual dental procedure. If falling asleep is challenging, a little guided imagery can go a long way to relax your body and mind, and help you drift into sleep sooner. You can also use guided imagery to effectively accomplish goals related to nutrition and exercise through visualization. Athletes, performers, and speakers use it to prepare themselves before an event. 

Like other mindfulness practices, guided imagery can be used personally and professionally to improve one’s overall sense of wellbeing.

Once you get the hang of it, there is no right or wrong way to practice guided imagery. With practice and patience, you can learn to trust your imagination and inner wisdom to lead you to intentional outcomes like finding peace, calm, confidence, motivation, healing, and goal attainment. I like to think of guided imagery as a ‘mini-vacation’ to reset your nervous system. I also equate it to drinking water throughout the day to stay properly hydrated and energized, while flushing out all the ‘stuff’ in your system you no longer need. 

To learn more and receive coaching support and effective resources for your guided imagery practice, schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

What Do You Need Right Now?

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

Maybe you are feeling a sense of heaviness right now. I know I am. It’s a challenging time of year for many, with the darkness and the cold. Events in the world seem ever more chaotic and frightening. So, what do you need right now?

We hear a lot about self-care, and if you spend any time on social media, it can seem that self-care means dermaplaning your face, having your nails done, and getting a Brazilian blowout (what is that anyway?). There is nothing wrong with taking care of your body or making yourself feel beautiful in the ways that work for you. But the self-care that can make a real difference in your level of contentment in life is something deeper.

Deep self-care involves slowing down, maybe even sitting down, and just being with your thoughts and feelings. Allowing what is true for you right now to come to the surface. Asking yourself, “What do you need right now?” 

Here are some other practices that can help you practice deep self-care:

• Practice noticing how you feel under different circumstances. How do you feel if you spend 20 minutes scrolling Instagram? How do you feel when you spend time with certain people? How do you feel if you spend a lot of time alone? The answers will be unique to you. When I first began living alone after my divorce, I discovered that if I went more than three days without in-person contact with people I care about, I started to feel depressed. So, I set up my life to make sure I saw people regularly. Other people might thrive with lots of alone time, so they might need to create that in their life.

• Practice acknowledging yourself daily. Use a journal to write down three things every day that you’d like to acknowledge yourself for. Acknowledge yourself for any baby step forward, for any self-care, for anything you’ve done or even thought that leans toward life and health and hope. When I first started regularly exercising, I felt overwhelmed at the prospect. So, I told myself that I’d go the Y and ride the recumbent bike for five minutes three times a week, and call it a win. I wrote it on my calendar and in my acknowledgment journal every time I did it. That five minutes slowly got longer and longer, and soon I had a habit going.

• Practice asking for help. This can be a hard one for many people. We want to be independent, we don’t want to be a burden, we want to show that we can handle things. But remember how good it feels to help and support someone you love? Give that gift to others. Let them help you.

• Practice consciously choosing activities that nourish you. I don’t mean that you have to schedule every day with perfection. Just practice choosing one activity a week that you know will feed your soul and make you feel better. Maybe it’s seeing a certain someone, maybe it’s listening to music, or moving your body, or making art, or playing a sport, or sitting in a cozy coffee shop and dreaming.

And that guilt about taking care of yourself while others are suffering? Let it go. You are no good to anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. Take care of yourself, and you can be one of the helpers.

Turning Down the Power of Pain

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

Whether you have a sore hip, shoulder, knee, or some other type of physical discomfort, pain can be draining emotionally and mentally. It can often limit daily activities and even influence life choices. If you’ve experienced this, I can relate to you because I’ve been there. For several years, chronic pain made it difficult to do things I enjoy, like taking a walk, dancing, and swimming. After trying several ways to address it, I found Healing Touch. It helped reduce the power that pain held in my life on physical, mental, and emotional levels, and continues to soothe flare-ups. And that’s one reason why I’m passionate about sharing it with others. 

Pain can be triggered for many reasons, such as an illness, injury, or trauma. Whether you recently had surgery or cancer treatment, or if you’re a trauma survivor, several research studies have found that Healing Touch can help reduce pain you as you recover.  

Through light touch on the body and in the energy field surrounding it, Healing Touch takes a gentle, holistic approach and is complementary to any other methods you may be using to manage pain. It restores the flow of subtle energy to the affected area, which is often constricted as our bodies naturally attempt to protect us from pain by tightening the muscles or holding a certain posture. From there, Healing Touch techniques can be used to treat the entire body, as well as the mind and spirit, acknowledging that many factors may be contributing to pain and bringing them into harmony energetically. 

Most clients experience deep relaxation during Healing Touch sessions, which allows greater blood flow to major muscle groups and eases tension. Another theory for how Healing Touch improves chronic pain is that it changes the sensory dynamics of the brain. According to this model, chronic pain is related to maladaptive ways that the brain perceives the painful body parts. Oppositely, techniques such as Healing Touch initiate beneficial changes within the brain by treating the entire body, guiding the person’s focus to non-painful areas through gentle touch. This broadens and changes how the brain experiences the body as a whole and contributes to pain reduction. 

If you’re curious about how Healing Touch could help you, or want to learn more, I’d be glad to talk with you. Sign up for a free Energy Exploration session, or email me at allisondawnenergyhealing@gmail.com 

Real-Time Survival Mode

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

As I write, tens of thousands are experiencing the trauma of loss of property, community, and safety due to the fires in California. They are in sheer survival mode, focused on basic needs like shelter, food, and water. People may be grieving the loss of loved ones. They may feel emotions like anger, frustration, confusion, shock, anxiety, sadness, overwhelm, and numbness. Like me, you may have loved ones who are going through this nightmare, and may feel helpless as you watch the events on the news or text them endlessly to check in. 

How does one keep their nervous system regulated when life has been turned upside down? How do you make critical and logical decisions when in fight-flight-freeze mode? These are questions I am pondering as I witness my family and Los Angeles county residents go through this unimaginable upheaval. 

In times of suffering, when one’s catastrophic thoughts are actually true, how do you cope? 

What comes to mind is the practice of compassion. Compassion meets suffering where it is and acknowledges the truth of the situation. Consider affirmations such as:

“This is my worst-case scenario coming true, and I will take it one day at a time.” 

“I am suffering and can overcome this.”

“I am not alone in this and have others to help me through.”

Allowing space to validate and feel your emotions can be difficult, yet is also necessary for healing. Energetic connection with one’s community, even if it is physically gone, is essential to well-being and survival. Self-compassion and compassion for others are restorative measures to bring a sense of belonging and grounding in difficult times. 

Breathwork, tapping, healing touch, and other nervous system regulation practices will not reverse the destruction caused by the fires. However, they are reliable, evidence-based tools to help you access inner strength, resilience, and hope during times of outer and inner turmoil. 

To receive coaching support for your emotional and mental well-being during this challenging time, feel free to schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

New Year’s Resolutions? Maybe Not.

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

Are you a person who sets resolutions for the new year? If so, how does that usually work out for you? The online forum Medium says that only 8% of Americans follow through on their New Year’s resolutions. 

I often think of New Year’s resolutions as promising yourself to start doing something that is good for you, or to stop doing something that is bad for you. Who can argue with that? So, if  New Year’s resolutions are a good thing, why is it so hard to keep them?

Resolutions tend to be a mind-based plan where you are either going to win or lose. That’s a lot of pressure. By the end of the year, you’ve either done it or you haven’t. For example, a common resolution is “I’m going to get in great physical shape this year.” If you don’t manage to do that, you may notice you are berating yourself, feeling discouraged, and experiencing even less desire to move forward. 

But I think the more important problem with resolutions is that our mind is telling us what is good for us, without checking in with our soul and body. If your mind, soul and body aren’t in alignment with your goal, you will find a lot of objections coming up, and it will be very difficult to move forward. Your soul and body need to feel a deeper why in order to engage in change.

That’s why I prefer intentions to resolutions. Intentions are more about who we choose to be, than what we choose to do. They tend to involve our right brain as well as our left, thus bringing us into alignment. They are kind of like personal values, in that your awareness of your intentions can guide your behavior and decisions.

One way to start thinking about your intentions for the year is to ask yourself these questions:

• Who do I want to be in my life this year?

• How do I want to feel as I move through my days? 

• How do I want to show up in my life this year?

• What do I want to bring to the world this year?

Spend some time with those questions, maybe journaling about them, or talking with a trusted person. Then use your answers to create 2-3 intentions for the year. 

The person who wants to be in great physical shape by the end of the year might set these intentions: 

• I intend to be a person who takes good care of him/herself.

• I intend to feel strong and comfortable in my body.

• I intend to be present in the moment.

Intentions are as unique as you are, and you can set them however you like. They can evolve as the year goes on.

One way to keep your intentions front and center is to create an Intention Journal. Write your intentions in the front of your journal. Then, each day, jot a few notes, noticing what you’ve done to honor your intentions that day.

For the intentions above, a day of notes might look like this:

1. I took a long walk

2. I noticed that I don’t get as tired as I used to

3. I was very present when I met with my friend today

As you can see, this doesn’t have to take much time, but it will keep your mind/body/soul, focused on your intention. It will also help to lessen any negative self-talk, because even when you have days where you didn’t honor all your intentions, you will have a whole journal full other days where you did, to remind you of all your positive steps forward.

Let me know if you want support for setting intentions for the new year, or if you have questions:  susan@lifecoachsusantemple.com

Harmonize with Nature by Taking a Nap

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

As the longest night and shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere, the winter solstice on December 21st is a nature-based holiday honoring the relationship between light and dark. I appreciate the weeks before and after this special day as a time of inner stillness, when we have the least exposure to one of our greatest sources of energy—the sun. With more darkness, it’s easier to embrace our natural need for rest, allowing our bodies, minds, and spirits to pause. Just as bears hibernate and trees enter an energy-saving mode to survive the winter months, we can become attuned to the subtle power of the season by slowing down.

There are many meditative techniques and self-care actions that can help us move through life at a slower pace, and I’d like to suggest a very simple and practical one—taking a nap! Whether 15 minutes of rest with your eyes closed, or an hour or two of deep slumber in the middle of the day, a winter nap can bring your energy into harmony with the relaxed rhythm of the natural world.

Trauma Healing is a Change Journey

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

No matter where you are in your trauma healing journey, it is important to reflect on how far you have come. Recognizing and celebrating the energy, resources, and effort you have put into improving your personal wellbeing is equally as important as actually doing the work. If you have recently begun the process, acknowledging that you have taken the first step can be invaluable for motivation and confidence. 

Know that the path forward is not linear, as change is dynamic and fluid, and naturally comes with ups and downs. See if you can move forward through uncertainty with courage and trust in yourself, the people who support you, and the resources that fuel your growth. Just knowing that change can be challenging fosters resilience and reduces resistance. Surrender to what is true in the moment, so you can make realistic and healthy changes. 

When old or new obstacles arise and goals seem futile, revisit the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that no longer serve you. Put your energy into expanding self-awareness of mind, body, and spirit to access your fears, strengths, values, desires, and aspirations. Become better acquainted with the relationship between your bodily sensations and emotions, and how these parts of you interfere with or nurture the fullness of your breath. 

Practice mindfulness and self-compassion with a focus on nervous system regulation. Regulate, regulate, regulate throughout the day. Each day find something you are grateful for and celebrate what may feel like the smallest achievement to you, but what really is a significant milestone in your healing journey. 

Yes, your inner critic and self-doubt may fight to be heard and knock you down. So, when you notice this happening, fill your cup with more self-compassion, more mindfulness, and nervous system regulation.

Recognize how far you have come and where you want to be. Visualize, draw, or find an image of a bridge or ladder. 

Ask yourself:

• Where am I now, and where do I want to be in a week, three months, one year, and beyond?

• What steps will I take and which tools do I need to get there? 

• What are the supporting goals and resources that I need? 

• What aspects of my life are holding me back and what can I let go of in order to achieve the outcomes I want?

• What obstacles can I anticipate and how do I work through them?

Need help getting started or feeling stuck in the process? I am here to help!

To receive coaching support and wellbeing tools for your trauma healing journey, schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Are You in Liminal Space?

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

Several years ago, I went through a divorce after 30 years of marriage. I felt like all the pieces of my life had been thrown up into the air. My primary relationship was fractured beyond repairing.  I had to sort through the 27 years of life that was stored in the house where we raised our five daughters, and get the house sold.  Relationships with family and mutual friends were uncertain. I moved (twice).  I changed jobs (twice). I needed a series of non-life-threatening surgeries that set me back physically, each time. Financial concerns arose, as now I was solely responsible for all expenses. I was 60 and feeling like I didn’t have a lot of time to rebuild. And most importantly, I didn’t know what this would mean for my daughters and me. What would “family” look like now?

Thinking of my future, I felt like I was staring into an abyss, a completely blank space. I felt a responsibility to myself and to my young adult kids to create some kind of new life, but I had no idea what that could look like. Fear, confusion, grief, and anger were running rampant in my heart and mind.

I know now that I was experiencing what French ethnographer Arnold van Genepp called “liminal space.” The word “liminal” comes from the Greek word, “limen,” which means “threshold.” Liminal space is a period in your life when something is ending, and something new is trying to emerge. You are in between what was, and what will be. Your life is changing, whether or not you planned for it, and whether or not you like it. It can feel extremely uncomfortable, and full of exciting possibility, all at the same time.

You don’t have to have a huge life event like I did to find yourself in liminal space. For some people it can be more internal, just a nagging feeling that something is wrong, that you just know you could be happier or you feel that something is missing.

What I learned from my experience is that I couldn’t navigate it alone. I needed support and guidance to deal with the past, develop self-love and self-trust, and create a life where I feel like me, where I can be content. This does not happen in one or two sessions with a professional.

I sought help from a therapist and others during that time, and I continue to work on my healing and growth in a variety of ways to this day. 

Many of the people who come to me for coaching and tapping (or to any of the practitioners at The Healing House) are in some kind of liminal space. Are you? In my work, I support you as you learn to accept, allow and process all feelings, including the ones that aren’t pretty, or that you’d prefer not to feel. I help you see your own strength and the glimmers of what is possible for you in the next stage of your life. And I am there for you as you take the first steps towards those glimmers, and as you begin to create something new for yourself.

Using Guided Imagery Meditation to Direct a Busy Mind

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

On a busy day, if you find your mind working hard analyzing everything around you, remembering the past, or creating stories about the future, thoughts can seem like race cars zipping this way and that. They can feel like a traffic jam with no direction.

Artist: Aristal Branson

Enter guided imagery: a form of meditation that invites specific images or visual concepts into the mind to foster emotional, mental, or physical well-being. It may include vivid scenes, colors, sounds, or sensations.  Rather than trying to clear the mind, which is challenging since thinking is a natural part of being human, guided imagery gently focuses our thoughts in ways that can relieve stress, increase vitality, and tap into inner wisdom.

Author and meditation teacher Belleruth Naparstek shares key principles about why and how guided imagery works in her book, “Staying Well with Guided Imagery: How to Harness the Power of Your Imagination for Health and Healing.” One core concept is that our bodies respond to images held in our minds as if they were really happening. This is why we often feel hungry after simply seeing a picture of a favorite meal, or we might notice our muscles getting tense when watching a dramatic movie. Another principle discussed is that when we’re in an altered state of consciousness we have a “greater capacity for intense healing, growth, learning, and change” (p. 22). By using a calm, yet active and concentrated awareness, guided imagery draws us into a type of altered state in which we can access an expanded sense of wholeness. A third important aspect is that using guided imagery is a choice, something over which we have control to start, stop, or change at any time. This form of personal empowerment and sense of mastery can, in itself, improve our ability to cope and optimism about the future.

I often incorporate guided imagery into Healing Touch sessions as a way to expand, heal, balance, or release energy. Because energy follows intention, introducing images that align with the client’s vision of health is a powerful force in the healing process. It uses the language of metaphor to go beyond logic and into the realm of intuition, memory, and the soul.  

Nervous System Reset

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Breathe in through your nose
Hear your breath go in
Shoulders down
Jaw relaxed 
Exhale through your mouth 
Slowly out 

Breath in through your nose
See your fingers
Wiggle your toes 
Relax your brow
Exhale through your mouth 
Slowly slowly out

Breathe in through your nose 
Touch your palm to your chest
Arch your back 
Shake out your legs
Exhale through your mouth 
Slowly slowly slowly out 

Notice the emotions you feel and the thoughts that arose
Be curious. Be kind. Be with it.

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com to learn more about mindful moments to reset your nervous system. 

Vocal Sound Healing

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

You have probably heard of, or maybe even experienced, sound healing using singing bowls, gongs, chimes, and other instruments. Maybe you are less familiar with Vocal Sound Healing, also sometimes called “Vocal Toning.”

Vocal Sound Healing uses the human voice to promote healing and well-being. Imagine this: our voices are not just tools for communication; they’re powerful instruments that can bring harmony and healing to our bodies and souls.

Singing or humming creates soothing sounds that resonate through us, aligning our energy and opening our hearts. It’s like a warm embrace for your spirit! Each note carries its own frequency, and these vibrations can help clear out negative energy, relieve stress, and even promote physical healing.

There are many ways this can be done. At The Healing House, I am offering both one-on-one and group Vocal Sound Healing experiences.

Here’s how a one-on-one experience unfolds:

1. Setting the Space: You will lie on a comfortable massage table, fully clothed, in a quiet, dimly lit room. You’ll have pillows and blankets to make you comfortable. The atmosphere is designed to help you relax and feel safe.

2. Intention Setting: We will talk about your intentions or areas you’d like to focus on—whether it's emotional healing, stress relief, or physical healing. This helps me tailor the experience to your needs.

3. Vocal Experience: I will play chimes to begin our session. Then, I will sing a series of short phrases so that you can get used to hearing the music, noticing what you feel in your body, where you feel it, and what it feels like. Then I will use my voice to sing or hum without words, just for you, holding the intention that you have set for yourself. I may also offer periods of silence. 

4. Sound Waves and Vibrations: As the sound fills the space, it creates vibrations that can be felt throughout your body. These vibrations help to release tension, promote relaxation, and stimulate emotional healing. It’s kind of like an energetic massage for your body, mind and spirit.

5. Mindfulness and Presence: Throughout the experience, you’re encouraged to focus on your breath, the sounds, and any sensations that arise in your body. This mindfulness can deepen your connection to yourself and enhance the healing process.

6. Integration: The session ends with the sound of the chimes. After the singing session, there’s time for reflection about your experience. You might share your feelings or insights that came up, helping to integrate the healing into your life.  I will share any intuitive insights that I noticed, as well.

A group experience looks like this:

We gather in a small group, sitting in chairs.

1. Connection: We begin by giving ourselves some calming breaths together.

2. Intention Setting:  Each participant may share their intention, or what they are hoping to get out of the experience.

3. Setting the Stage:  I will talk briefly about how our singing together will work.

4. Vocal Experience:  I will play chimes, as we breathe together. Then I will start us off with one long singing tone. I will encourage you to join in with simple sounds, such as humming or singing vowel sounds. We will listen to each other, and blend our voices, creating a beautiful tapestry of sound.  It is an opportunity to practice letting go of judgment of ourselves and others. As we progress, we may experiment with other sounds, or other ways of blending together.

5. Silence: As the experience unfolds, participants are gently led into moments of silence, allowing the vibrations of their collective voice to settle in. This quiet space fosters a profound connection to oneself and to each other, as everyone feels seen and heard.

6. Integration:  We end the session with the sound of the chimes. We feel a sense of openness and connection with ourselves and with the others in the group. Participants may share their experience of the session, and what they are taking away from this time together.

Overall, vocal sound healing can be deeply nurturing and transformative, offering an opportunity for connection, relaxation, and healing through the power of sound.

I offer one-on-one sessions on Saturdays at The Healing House. Here’s the link for booking for that:  https://BookwithSusan.as.me/?appointmentType=63333568

Or join me for a small group sound healing experience in December:  https://BookwithSusan.as.me/?appointmentType=67516204

Let It Be

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

We all tend to have ideas about how others should behave.  It’s worth taking a look at these expectations, because they can cause us disappointment and frustration at best and make us miserable at worst.  Here’s an example from my life. 

I have two stepdaughters whom I love dearly.  I married their dad when they were four and six, so I was very involved in their lives as they were growing up. We were close.

As they grew up and moved out into the world, there were often long stretches of time when I didn’t hear from them very much. And, every time they moved to a new apartment, they didn’t give me their new address until I asked for it. I couldn’t understand this, as it was different from the way my family of origin did things. I believed that a kid who loved her mom would keep her informed. I felt hurt and sad and frustrated.

Brené Brown offers a very helpful question: “What is the story I am telling myself?” The story I was telling myself was that they didn’t care very much about me, and I wasn’t very important to them. But was that the truth?

I read Rhonda Britten’s book, Fearless Living, and I learned about expectations.  It was my expectations that were making me miserable, not the behavior of my kids.  I expected to hear from them regularly, and I expected to be informed of big life events.  And they were just living their own lives, doing things the way that felt right to them. And, I had never talked to them about it, or asked if they would be willing to do things differently.

I basically had three options:

1. I could hold my expectation that they should do things differently, and feel all the negative feelings around that.

2. I could accept that this is just their way and refrain from thinking it means anything in particular, letting go of expectations and judgment around it. 

3. I could talk to them and ask if they would be willing to make a change.

I eventually decided that there was really nothing wrong with the way they were doing things, it just wasn’t my way, and I let go of those expectations. It took time. I had to pay attention and notice when I was “in expectation” and make a choice to think differently about it.  

I enjoy my relationships with them more since I did that, because I’m not expecting things to be different.  I enjoy them as they are. I enjoy our communications when we have them, and then I let it be. I don’t ruminate about it being different. It’s great.

Think about your life and your expectations of others. Ask yourself, “Is this a realistic expectation, or am I expecting the other person to think and behave the way I would?  What is the story I am telling myself?”

And, if you’d like to shift some of your expectations, tapping can help.

Infinity Symbol: The Shape of Harmony

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

From a young age, we begin to recognize shapes and attach meanings to them. Hearts, stop signs and arrows are a few common examples, as well as religious symbols like a cross or star of David. There may be certain shapes we feel drawn to, or that carry emotions or memories for us.

A symbol that holds special meaning for healing is the lemniscate, more commonly known as the infinity sign or figure eight. As a variation on two circles with an intersecting point, it represents harmony and creates peace between opposites. It “reminds us of the flow of life, always returning to center and the importance of balance.” (Cynthia Hutchison).

The infinity symbol can be especially helpful as a holistic meditation tool to integrate various aspects of life. Personally, I like to use it when I feel tension between two parts of myself, or between me and another person or situation. Here are a few ideas to try:

Set an intention for experiencing peace within yourself, or in relation to another person or situation of concern.

• For those who are visually inclined, draw an infinity sign on paper and trace it with a pen or your fingers for several minutes. By crossing the midline of the body with your eyes, this requires the left and right sides of the brain to work together.

• For those who prefer physical movement, walk as if you are following an imaginary path shaped like a large figure 8 a few times. You may want to do this at a slower pace than you normally walk to encourage physical balance (and prevent dizziness).

• Or, for those who resonate with an energy-based approach, picture a vertical infinity sign with a moving point of light. Start at your heart center and see the point of light travel up around the head, back through the heart, down around the lower trunk, and return to the heart. You could also use your hand in front of your body to follow this pattern of energy. This method can be useful to align thoughts, emotions, and actions into a state of wholeness.

When you feel a sense of completion, take a moment to notice any shifts in your mind, body or spirit that have occurred as a result of using the infinity sign. There are many ways this powerful symbol can deepen our personal healing practice and harmonize how we relate to the world. You may find your own unique way, or for more ideas check out these resources:

The Power of the Infinity Symbol by Barbara Heider-Reuter

Sacred Geometry applied to Energy Therapy throughout Life Cycles by Cynthia Hutchison

The Wisdom of Our Emotions

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Emotional avoidance and numbing is a common theme in the work I do with adult trauma survivors. I define it as a subconscious or conscious avoidance of overwhelming emotions, such as unworthiness, shame, guilt, sadness, and remorse. Many trauma survivors are conditioned to be skilled at emotional avoidance, or numbing, as coping strategies to prevent or suppress the flood of tough emotions. Distractions are behaviors where one is “over” or “under” doing anything as a means to alleviate the pain of unprocessed emotions. Examples include overworking, overachieving, people-pleasing, procrastinating, undermining one’s abilities, controlling, having rigid or loose boundaries, withdrawing from social activities, and addictive behaviors like shopping, drinking, and social media scrolling. 

Distraction from emotions serves a purpose, and in fact, it is a sign that your nervous system is working to protect you. What’s interesting is that the behaviors that have kept trauma survivors safe have the potential to become invaluable strengths in both their personal and professional lives. The work that we do in coaching is to figure out how to dial a strength up or down so that it is used in a healthy and balanced way.

What can happen over time if trauma survivors suppress their emotions is that emotions will find a way to get noticed, i.e. through emotional dysregulation, acute pain, and chronic conditions like autoimmune disorders, IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), and depression and anxiety. That’s where emotional intelligence practices can be extremely helpful. Like the logical part of our brain, emotions are also a reliable source of wisdom and guidance. They help us determine our unmet needs so we can take care of ourselves and improve our sense of wellbeing in a healthy way.

Here is an approach you can try (even one step could help) to regulate your nervous system next time you are triggered by an emotion and find yourself moving into distraction mode.

Note: This is not a complete list. The steps can be practiced in any order and any combination.   

• PAUSE and notice you are having a tough emotion

• CHALLENGE any self-judgment (are you having an emotion about your emotion?)

• LABEL the emotion - refer to this Feelings Wheel (“I am feeling  _______”)

• BREATHE - (i.e. diaphragmatic or box breathing)

• NOTICE any sensation(s) in your body related to the emotion (i.e. tight chest, clenched jaw, headache)

• PRACTICE self-compassion (i.e. place your hand on your chest, breathe, ground feet into floor, clasp hands, self-hug, journal, take a walk, acknowledge “this is hard”)

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com if you or a loved one would like to learn strategies to practice and strengthen your emotional intelligence and improve your sense of wellbeing

Achieve Relaxation through Healing Touch

By Allison Runchey, HTCP, MA in Holistic Health Studies

If you have ever felt worried about a past or future event, you may have been told to “just relax,” or perhaps you have said those words to yourself. How well did that work? Sometimes a quick reminder is all we need to calm down and feel better, but it’s not always so easy. First, it’s important to be in a space where you feel physically and emotionally safe enough to let your guard down. And second, to feel a level of acceptance and trust from whomever you are with at the time–whether a practitioner, a loved one, or yourself. This sense of safety and acceptance can be found in multiple ways, one of which is through Healing Touch.

Healing Touch can be done seated, standing, or lying down, with eyes open or closed. It’s flexible, meeting you at whatever level of tension you may presently feel, and moving toward a frequency of relaxation. By incorporating guided imagery, gentle touch, and clearing the biofield around the body, it builds a memory in your nervous system and an energetic imprint of harmony and ease. This memory or imprint can be drawn on anytime you want to re-experience relaxation later, like when you are trying to sleep or preparing for public speaking. Learning to release tension and tune back into calmness is a skill. Just like playing a new sport or learning a musical instrument, relaxation can become easier and more familiar with practice and time. 

Recently a client who was struggling with anxiety and difficulty sleeping asked me, “Do I need to hold still during a Healing Touch session?” The short answer is, “yes and no.” The longer and more complete answer is that while it’s good to move your body as much as you need in order to feel comfortable, it can be helpful to have moments of stillness when your muscles are free of tension. Physiologically, softening the muscles and becoming quiet can be likened to taking your foot off the gas and coasting. It shifts your body and brain toward a state of rest and balance, physically and mentally, activating the parasympathetic nervous system. This type of equilibrium opens energy pathways that promote greater health and well-being, making Healing Touch more effective.

A Daily Dose of Gratitude

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach 

A daily dose of gratitude can shift your mind and body from a stress response to more of a relaxed state. It can help you manage the ups and downs of life and achieve a more regulated nervous system. 

Recall a recent time when you were not feeling great, either emotionally, mentally, and/or physically. Maybe you were stressed about a relationship or work situation. Perhaps you were being hard on yourself and ruminating about a recent social situation. Or was there a time when you were feeling ill and unable to get things done on your to-do list? Whatever the situation, a little bit of gratitude can go a long way.  Establishing a daily practice can help strengthen your ‘gratitude muscle’ so that it becomes more accessible during the most challenging times. 

Try this exercise to explore or modify an existing gratitude practice:

• Who or what in your life (let’s call them “glimmers”) brings you a consistent feeling of comfort, safety, love, peace, joy, appreciation, hope, and/or purpose? 

• You may think of a person, animal, object, memory, place, activity/hobby, or more!

• Write down your glimmers for daily reference so you can revisit them anytime.

• Access self-compassion by being kind and comforting to yourself.

A gratitude practice is not just for the tough times. Acknowledging your glimmers during the “good” times is a healthy way to embrace what’s going well in your life. This approach to gratitude can reinforce your glimmers even more for the times you need them the most. And remember to practice a healthy dose of self-compassion as well! 

Visit The Neuroscience of Gratitude by PositivePsychology.com to learn more about the wellbeing benefits of gratitude.

Need help getting started? 

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com to learn how to incorporate gratitude, and other invaluable practices, like self-compassion, into your life to feel more calm, joy, and peace.

Out of the Swirl and into the Light

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

You know that experience when someone or something upsets you, and you just can’t let it go? It swirls around and around in your mind, you wake up at night thinking about it, you find yourself arguing with the person or situation (sometimes out loud), while cleaning the toilet or breading the chicken? The upset can be something small, like an offhand comment, a small slight. Or, it can be a life-changing situation where someone has truly done you wrong, or something has happened that you have not found a way to accept—it is just not okay with you. Either way, the common denominator is that you cannot figure out how to let it go. So, you suffer.

Your mind keeps presenting you with thoughts about this situation. Believe it or not, your mind is trying to help you by reminding you that you still have big feelings about it. And it will, helpfully or not, keep reminding you of this situation until you find a way to process ALL of those feelings.

Tapping is an easy-to-use tool for taking you out of the swirl and into the light. Recently I worked with a client, let’s call her “Mary,” who was stuck in the swirl. (I have Mary’s permission to share this story.) After years of volunteering her time and expertise to a non-profit organization, Mary had professional relationships and friends in the organization, and she cared deeply about its goals. She was ready to retire from most of her roles, while planning to remain on one of the governing boards.

Then, the organization ran into a rough patch, and Mary willingly, at some cost to her personal life, jumped in to help get things back on track. She spent countless hours, many of them volunteer, for over a year, working for the good of this organization that she cared about deeply.

Finally, the organization was through the rough patch, and Mary was ready to drop her other roles, while remaining on the board. Then, the leadership changed, and suddenly her ideas were no longer welcomed. With no warning, she was told that, effective immediately, she would no longer be on the Board.

She found it hard to believe that she was being treated this way, after being an integral part of the organization for years and giving so much to its well-being. She made attempts to speak with the leadership, to gain clarity and have her feelings heard, but ran into brick walls everywhere she turned.

When we met, she was suffering the pain of being in the swirl, feeling misunderstood, outraged, banished. This organization that had been pivotal in her life was now the source of the hurt in her heart.

We tapped for all these feelings, giving attention and validation to them, while reducing their charge in her body. One of the most painful thoughts she was experiencing was the idea that no matter what she said or did, they were never going to care or understand how she felt. We were tapping for that, when, as often happens, an idea came to me from my intuition by way of my weird sense of humor. The Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” popped up, so I added those words into the tapping, and Mary repeated them several times. We both ended up chuckling. It was true that she would never get satisfaction from the others in this situation, yet the humor brought light and helped her satisfy herself.

At the end of our session, I asked her to tell me the kindest thing she could say to herself after all that had happened. The tapping had taken her out of the swirl, and into a place where her thoughts were “I’ve not done anything I regret,” "I have done enough,” “I am ready to claim peace around this.” We tapped for those thoughts, too. Later that day, she emailed to say that “I can’t get no satisfaction” had been running through her mind all afternoon, and she felt peaceful and light. That’s the power of tapping.

“Mary” sent me this update, 9/5/2024, about the results of our session:

“Several months after that session, I can report that I feel completely free of the impact that painful situation had on me. It is truly in the rear-view mirror, a part of my history, but I’m not carrying the weight of it anymore. Not at all. The tapping and the wonderful humor in our session left me feeling empowered and no longer victimized. Within a few days of that session with you, Susan, I woke up feeling something I didn’t expect: in my heart I was totally ready to forgive those involved and forgive the whole situation. That’s just where I was! So, I did indeed claim my peace and that peace has been lasting. Thank you again!”

Gratitude: Finding balance in the present moment

by Allison Runchey, HTCP

Gratitude gets a lot of attention as a way to improve our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. Indeed, it has many benefits documented by researchers at UC Berkeley who’ve studied the science of gratitude. These include reducing burnout, depression, and signs of inflammation, while increasing life satisfaction, sleep quality, and resilience.

Yet sometimes this seems too simple or too good to be true. It can be easy to doubt the power of gratitude, or it can be misunderstood and used as a way of avoiding or pushing away difficulties that need to be addressed. But maybe there is another approach, one that uses gratitude to balance the energy of a painful situation and build the inner resources to move through it with greater ease.

When feelings of struggle or frustration come up, try noticing something you’re grateful for in your immediate surroundings. Any little thing to be thankful for in the moment will work. Bring the thought of it into the body, as if planting it in the heart center like a seed, then allow the sensation to grow. This grounds us in the present and brings the powerful energy of the heart into the picture, opening us to higher states of appreciation and love and giving us the capacity to meet challenging situations as they arise.

In many healing traditions, the heart is the place of balance and transformation. When the heart is open,we can see “the uniqueness and inner beauty and light in each individual [or circumstance] as well as the negative or underdeveloped aspects” (Barbara Brennan, Hands of Light, p. 76). By acknowledging gratitude side by side with difficulty in this way, we can move authentically toward a greater sense of wholeness within ourselves and harmony with the world around us.

When Words Hurt

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

You may have heard of the English children’s rhyme that first appeared in the 1800’s,

“Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words shall never hurt me.”

According to Wikipedia, this rhyme was used as a “defense against name-calling and verbal bullying, intended to increase resiliency, avoid physical retaliation, and/or to remain calm and indifferent.”

As a kid in the 1970’s, I remember replaying this rhyme in my mind in a sing-songy fashion and feeling ashamed when words did actually hurt. I felt like something was wrong with me when my teachers, family, and other kids reinforced that words should not hurt, but in fact they did.

“Sticks and stones” and other fear-based belief systems can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as emotional numbing, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. What’s a kid to do but push their emotions down as a freeze response to avoid being made fun of by peers and family. Other responses could be to fight back or run away and hide, all in an effort to stay safe. Unfortunately, over time, unprocessed emotions can contribute to a dysregulated nervous system that shows up as anxiety, depression, and other chronic illnesses.

Times are changing and the theory and teachings of emotional intelligence from the 1990s continues to play a crucial role in society. Assertive and mindful “nonviolent” communication (NVC), developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, can be a healthy way to cope with emotionally triggering situations and people. 

Coupled with empathy and self-compassion, Rosenberg’s NVC approach helps to acknowledge hurt without judgment and determine what response best supports one’s emotional wellbeing and safety. 

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com to learn how to incorporate NVC, emotional intelligence, and other invaluable practices into your life to feel more calm, joy, and peace.