By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP
Are you a person who sets resolutions for the new year? If so, how does that usually work out for you? The online forum Medium says that only 8% of Americans follow through on their New Year’s resolutions.
I often think of New Year’s resolutions as promising yourself to start doing something that is good for you, or to stop doing something that is bad for you. Who can argue with that? So, if New Year’s resolutions are a good thing, why is it so hard to keep them?
Resolutions tend to be a mind-based plan where you are either going to win or lose. That’s a lot of pressure. By the end of the year, you’ve either done it or you haven’t. For example, a common resolution is “I’m going to get in great physical shape this year.” If you don’t manage to do that, you may notice you are berating yourself, feeling discouraged, and experiencing even less desire to move forward.
But I think the more important problem with resolutions is that our mind is telling us what is good for us, without checking in with our soul and body. If your mind, soul and body aren’t in alignment with your goal, you will find a lot of objections coming up, and it will be very difficult to move forward. Your soul and body need to feel a deeper why in order to engage in change.
That’s why I prefer intentions to resolutions. Intentions are more about who we choose to be, than what we choose to do. They tend to involve our right brain as well as our left, thus bringing us into alignment. They are kind of like personal values, in that your awareness of your intentions can guide your behavior and decisions.
One way to start thinking about your intentions for the year is to ask yourself these questions:
Who do I want to be in my life this year?
How do I want to feel as I move through my days?
How do I want to show up in my life this year?
What do I want to bring to the world this year?
Spend some time with those questions, maybe journaling about them, or talking with a trusted person. Then use your answers to create 2-3 intentions for the year.
The person who wants to be in great physical shape by the end of the year might set these intentions:
I intend to be a person who takes good care of him/herself.
I intend to feel strong and comfortable in my body.
I intend to be present in the moment.
Intentions are as unique as you are, and you can set them however you like. They can evolve as the year goes on.
One way to keep your intentions front and center is to create an Intention Journal. Write your intentions in the front of your journal. Then, each day, jot a few notes, noticing what you’ve done to honor your intentions that day.
For the intentions above, a day of notes might look like this:
I took a long walk
I noticed that I don’t get as tired as I used to
I was very present when I met with my friend today
As you can see, this doesn’t have to take much time, but it will keep your mind/body/soul, focused on your intention. It will also help to lessen any negative self-talk, because even when you have days where you didn’t honor all your intentions, you will have a whole journal full other days where you did, to remind you of all your positive steps forward.
Let me know if you want support for setting intentions for the new year, or if you have questions: susan@lifecoachsusantemple.com