By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP
You know that experience when someone or something upsets you, and you just can’t let it go? It swirls around and around in your mind, you wake up at night thinking about it, you find yourself arguing with the person or situation (sometimes out loud), while cleaning the toilet or breading the chicken? The upset can be something small, like an offhand comment, a small slight. Or, it can be a life-changing situation where someone has truly done you wrong, or something has happened that you have not found a way to accept—it is just not okay with you. Either way, the common denominator is that you cannot figure out how to let it go. So, you suffer.
Your mind keeps presenting you with thoughts about this situation. Believe it or not, your mind is trying to help you by reminding you that you still have big feelings about it. And it will, helpfully or not, keep reminding you of this situation until you find a way to process ALL of those feelings.
Tapping is an easy-to-use tool for taking you out of the swirl and into the light. Recently I worked with a client, let’s call her “Mary,” who was stuck in the swirl. (I have Mary’s permission to share this story.) After years of volunteering her time and expertise to a non-profit organization, Mary had professional relationships and friends in the organization, and she cared deeply about its goals. She was ready to retire from most of her roles, while planning to remain on one of the governing boards.
Then, the organization ran into a rough patch, and Mary willingly, at some cost to her personal life, jumped in to help get things back on track. She spent countless hours, many of them volunteer, for over a year, working for the good of this organization that she cared about deeply.
Finally, the organization was through the rough patch, and Mary was ready to drop her other roles, while remaining on the board. Then, the leadership changed, and suddenly her ideas were no longer welcomed. With no warning, she was told that, effective immediately, she would no longer be on the Board.
She found it hard to believe that she was being treated this way, after being an integral part of the organization for years and giving so much to its well-being. She made attempts to speak with the leadership, to gain clarity and have her feelings heard, but ran into brick walls everywhere she turned.
When we met, she was suffering the pain of being in the swirl, feeling misunderstood, outraged, banished. This organization that had been pivotal in her life was now the source of the hurt in her heart.
We tapped for all these feelings, giving attention and validation to them, while reducing their charge in her body. One of the most painful thoughts she was experiencing was the idea that no matter what she said or did, they were never going to care or understand how she felt. We were tapping for that, when, as often happens, an idea came to me from my intuition by way of my weird sense of humor. The Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” popped up, so I added those words into the tapping, and Mary repeated them several times. We both ended up chuckling. It was true that she would never get satisfaction from the others in this situation, yet the humor brought light and helped her satisfy herself.
At the end of our session, I asked her to tell me the kindest thing she could say to herself after all that had happened. The tapping had taken her out of the swirl, and into a place where her thoughts were “I’ve not done anything I regret,” "I have done enough,” “I am ready to claim peace around this.” We tapped for those thoughts, too. Later that day, she emailed to say that “I can’t get no satisfaction” had been running through her mind all afternoon, and she felt peaceful and light. That’s the power of tapping.
“Mary” sent me this update, 9/5/2024, about the results of our session:
“Several months after that session, I can report that I feel completely free of the impact that painful situation had on me. It is truly in the rear-view mirror, a part of my history, but I’m not carrying the weight of it anymore. Not at all. The tapping and the wonderful humor in our session left me feeling empowered and no longer victimized. Within a few days of that session with you, Susan, I woke up feeling something I didn’t expect: in my heart I was totally ready to forgive those involved and forgive the whole situation. That’s just where I was! So, I did indeed claim my peace and that peace has been lasting. Thank you again!”