By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP
My granddaughter, Esmé, was 31⁄2 and her parents were trying everything they could think of to encourage her to sleep in her big girl bed. The crib had been dismantled for a week now, and Esmé refused to sleep in the bed. She didn’t even want to sit on it! Change is not easy for her.
My daughter was at her wits’ end, with Esmé coming into their bed every night. Esmé was at my house one day, and I brought out Tappy Teddy. He’s a teddy bear who has hearts sewn on the spots where little kids would tap. Esmé was interested in him, so I showed her the hearts and told her these were magic spots on his body that could help him feel better when he is upset.
I told her we need to gently tap on them to make them work. I started tapping on the hearts on the bear, saying, “I’m Tappy Teddy, and I don’t like my big boy bed. I liked my crib better. It’s hard to change to a different bed. And I know I’m a good bear anyway.”
I went through a few rounds of tapping, saying similar things that I thought Esmé might be feeling about the big girl bed. Tappy Teddy eventually thought of a few things he liked about his big boy bed, so we tapped about those, too. She was laughing and enjoying this! I never talked about the parallel to her situation, we just played that Tappy Teddy was the one with the problem.
A few days later, Esmé’s mom reported that she slept in her new bed! This is an example of how tapping can help a very young child. She didn’t know how to express her feelings about the change, other than by refusing the new bed. Using the teddy bear as a surrogate, she was able to feel respected and understood. This made a big difference in her willingness to accept the change.
With older children, I teach them how to tap on their own bodies. Tapping can be very helpful for worries, sleep problems, school stress, friendship struggles, aches and pains, and simple issues of childhood like Esmé experienced.
Recently I worked with a 12-year-old who was having trouble controlling his temper when something upset him in the classroom. I taught him how to tap, and he liked how it felt. Together, we figured out how he can tell when he is about to “blow.” He practiced noticing those signs, and he learned (with his teacher’s support) to leave the classroom and go to the bathroom to tap before he exploded. This improved his experience at school immensely. Once he quit exploding, other kids quit steering clear of him, and he was able to make some friends.
If you would like some support with things that bother your child, I’m now offering 30-minute sessions for kids at The Healing House of St. Paul. Depending on your child’s age, you may be asked to attend the sessions as well so you can learn how to support your child (and yourself) with tapping.
For questions: susan@lifecoachsusantemple.com
To schedule: https://BookwithSusan.as.me/?appointmentType=63333491